Frequently Asked Questions

Finding the right therapist is one of the most important steps you can take, and it’s normal to have questions before you begin. Below are answers to the questions I hear most often from the individuals, couples, and families I work with across San Diego County. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Del Mar, I specialize in relationships and draw on 14 years as a litigation attorney to help people move past conflict toward real understanding and lasting change. Whether you’re considering couples therapy, working through a major transition, or simply trying to decide if we’re a good fit, I hope these answers give you a clearer picture of how I work and what to expect. If your question isn’t covered here, you’re welcome to reach out for a complimentary 15 minute consultation.

What type of therapist are you?

I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in California who specializes in relationships. I work with individuals, couples, and families who want healthier communication, deeper emotional connection, and lasting change. Many of my clients are professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and high-achieving individuals navigating relationship challenges, divorce, anxiety, or major life transitions.

Do you see individuals or only couples?

I see both, in addition to families, too.

While many people know me for couples therapy, I also work with individuals who want to improve their relationships, heal from past experiences, build confidence, navigate dating, recover from betrayal, or prepare for healthier partnerships.

I also work with families who want to work through communication problems and get back on the same page, so they can move forward together.

What issues do you specialize in?

I help clients with:

• Couples communication
• Marriage counseling
• Relationship conflict
• Repair
• Emotional disconnection
• Infidelity recovery
• Discernment counseling
• Divorce decisions
• Divorce recovery
• Dating patterns
• Attachment issues
• Premarital counseling
• Family conflict
• Boundaries
• Anxiety within relationships
• High-conflict relationships
• Emotional intimacy
• Physical intimacy 

What makes your approach different?

Before becoming a therapist, I spent 14 years as a litigation attorney.

That experience taught me how quickly conflict escalates when people stop feeling heard. It also taught me a lot about effective negotiation techniques, which techniques I use in my therapy practice today, especially with couples.

I combine my legal background with evidence-based therapeutic interventions to help people move beyond blame and defensiveness and toward understanding, accountability, and real change. 

My style is warm but direct, collaborative, and practical. 

I am solution-focused and oriented towards forward-progress. Therapy should help your circumstances change for the better, not keep you stuck in limbo.

Can couples therapy save a marriage?

Yes, it can. But, it depends on the couple and their circumstances.

Ultimately, couples therapy isn’t about convincing people to stay together. It’s about helping both partners understand what’s happening in the relationship, improve communication, and determine whether meaningful change is possible.

Some couples rebuild stronger relationships.

Others gain clarity that separation is the healthiest path.

Both outcomes can be successful when approached thoughtfully.

Do you offer discernment counseling?

Yes.

Discernment counseling is designed for couples where one partner is leaning toward divorce while the other wants to preserve the relationship. Rather than jumping into traditional couples therapy, discernment counseling helps couples decide whether to:

• Work seriously on the marriage
• Separate
• Continue gathering information before making a decision

Can therapy help after infidelity?

Absolutely.

Healing after an affair is possible, but it requires honesty, accountability, emotional safety, and consistent effort from both partners.

Whether you’re trying to rebuild trust or determine whether reconciliation is right for you, therapy can help guide that process.

Do you help people through divorce?

Yes.

I work with individuals navigating every stage of divorce—from deciding whether to leave, to managing the emotional impact of separation, to rebuilding confidence and creating a meaningful next chapter.

Do you work with high-achieving professionals?

Yes.

Many of my clients are executives, physicians, attorneys, business owners, entrepreneurs, and professionals balancing demanding careers with relationship challenges.

High performers often excel at work while struggling to feel understood, connected, or emotionally safe at home. Therapy provides space to strengthen both personal and professional relationships.

Do you offer online therapy?

Yes.

I provide secure telehealth therapy throughout California, as well as in-person sessions in my Del Mar office.

Where is your office located?

My office is located in Del Mar, California, and I work with clients throughout San Diego County, including Del Mar, Encinitas, Solana Beach, Cardiff aka Cardiff-by-the-Sea, Carmel Valley, Rancho Santa Fe, La Jolla, Carlsbad, Sorrento Valley, Carmel Valley, Poway, Scripps Ranch, Torrey Pines, San Marcos, Rancho Bernardo, Rancho Penasquitos, Bressi Ranch, Oceanside, Vista, Point Loma, Downtown, La Mesa, Rancho San Diego, Mt. Helix, Santee, Alpine, Coronado, and surrounding communities.

How long are therapy sessions?

Individual therapy sessions are typically 50 minutes.

Couples sessions are generally 90 minutes.

Extended sessions spanning 90 minutes as well as 120 minutes are also available.

How much does therapy cost?

My practice is private pay and operates outside of insurance. This allows me to provide personalized, confidential care without limitations imposed by insurance companies.

Please contact me for current fees.

Are you currently taking new clients?

Yes, but my openings are limited. 

Do you accept insurance?

I am an out-of-network provider.

Many clients choose to use their out-of-network benefits for potential reimbursement, depending on their insurance plan.

I can give you a link where you can check the availability of your out-of-network benefits.

How do I know if you’re the right therapist?

The relationship between therapist and client matters.

I offer a complimentary 15 minute consultation, so we can discuss what’s bringing you to therapy, answer your questions, and determine whether we’re a good fit.

What if my partner doesn’t want therapy?

It’s common for one partner to be more interested in therapy than the other. In many relationships, one person reaches a breaking point before the other recognizes the need for change. That doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is hopeless.

If your partner is hesitant, try approaching the conversation with curiosity rather than criticism. Instead of framing therapy as something that’s “wrong” with them or the relationship, consider presenting it as an opportunity to better understand one another and strengthen your connection.

Even if your partner isn’t ready, individual therapy can still be incredibly valuable. As one person begins changing how they communicate, regulate emotions, and respond to conflict, the relationship often begins to shift as well. While therapy is most effective when both partners participate, meaningful change can still begin with one person.

Can couples therapy help if we’re always fighting?

Yes. In fact, this is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy.

Most couples aren’t fighting because they disagree about dishes, money, parenting, or intimacy. They’re fighting because they have become stuck in a predictable interaction pattern that neither person knows how to interrupt. Over time, these cycles create defensiveness, resentment, and emotional distance.

Couples therapy helps identify the pattern beneath the argument. Rather than determining who’s right or wrong, we focus on understanding what each partner is trying to communicate, what emotional needs are going unmet, and how the cycle keeps repeating.

As you develop healthier communication and relationship skills, conflict often becomes less frequent, less intense, and much more productive.

Can therapy help us reconnect emotionally?

Yes. Emotional disconnection is one of the most common concerns couples bring to therapy.

Many couples describe feeling more like roommates, coworkers, or co-parents than romantic partners. Often, this disconnection develops gradually through unresolved conflict, busy schedules, chronic stress, or years of feeling misunderstood.

Therapy creates a space where both partners can slow down, understand one another more deeply, and begin rebuilding emotional safety. As communication improves and trust grows, many couples naturally begin experiencing greater closeness, affection, and connection.

Reconnection isn’t about returning to how things used to be—it’s about creating a healthier relationship than you’ve had before.

Can therapy improve intimacy?

It often can.

Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are closely connected. When couples experience ongoing conflict, resentment, or emotional distance, their physical relationship frequently suffers as well.

While intimacy concerns may involve medical, hormonal, or other factors, many couples discover that improving emotional safety, communication, and trust has a significant positive impact on their overall intimacy.

Therapy provides a supportive environment to discuss these topics openly, understand the barriers that may be affecting your relationship, and develop healthier ways of connecting both emotionally and physically.

What if we’re thinking about divorce?

If you’re unsure whether to work on your relationship or end it, therapy can help provide clarity.

Some couples know they want to repair the relationship but don’t know how. Others feel deeply divided, with one partner leaning toward divorce while the other hopes to stay together. In these situations, a specialized process called discernment counseling may be more appropriate than traditional couples therapy.

Rather than trying to convince either partner to stay or leave, discernment counseling helps both people gain a deeper understanding of how they arrived at this point, whether meaningful change is possible, and what path aligns best with their values and goals.

The goal isn’t to make the decision for you—it’s to help you make the most thoughtful decision possible.

Do you work with unmarried couples?

Yes.

Healthy relationships aren’t defined by a marriage certificate. I work with dating couples, engaged couples, long-term partners, and couples who are considering marriage.

Many unmarried couples seek therapy to strengthen communication, navigate conflict, deepen emotional intimacy, determine long-term compatibility, or proactively build a healthier foundation before making a lifelong commitment.

Whether you’ve been together for six months or six years, learning healthier relationship skills now can help prevent many of the patterns that become more difficult to change later.

How do I know if couples therapy is right for us?

Many couples wonder whether their problems are “serious enough” to justify therapy. The truth is, you don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from couples therapy. In fact, the earlier couples seek support, the easier it often is to change unhealthy patterns before they become deeply ingrained.

Couples therapy may be a good fit if you find yourselves having the same arguments over and over, feeling emotionally disconnected, struggling to communicate, rebuilding trust after a betrayal, navigating a major life transition, or simply feeling like you’ve lost the closeness you once had. Some couples come to therapy because they want to strengthen an already healthy relationship, while others are facing significant challenges and aren’t sure what comes next.

One of the biggest misconceptions about couples therapy is that it’s about deciding who’s right and who’s wrong. My role isn’t to referee your disagreements or assign blame. Instead, I help you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and teach practical skills that help you communicate more effectively, resolve conflict more constructively, and build greater emotional safety.

Whether your goal is to reconnect, improve communication, heal after a difficult experience, or decide whether your relationship can move forward, couples therapy provides a structured, supportive space to work toward lasting change.

What happens during the first couples therapy session?

The first session is focused on getting to know you, your relationship, and what brings you to therapy. Rather than jumping immediately into solving problems, we’ll begin by understanding the bigger picture—your relationship history, your strengths as a couple, the challenges you’re experiencing, and what you each hope will be different as a result of therapy.

I’ll ask questions about how you met, what initially drew you to one another, when things began to change, and what conflicts or concerns feel most important right now. I’ll also spend time understanding how the two of you communicate, handle conflict, and attempt to repair after disagreements.

The first session is also an opportunity for you to get a sense of my approach. I’ll explain how I work, answer your questions, and begin identifying the interaction patterns that may be contributing to your difficulties.

By the end of the session, you’ll have a clearer understanding of the therapy process, the goals we’ll be working toward, and the skills we’ll begin developing together. My goal is for both partners to leave feeling heard, understood, and hopeful about what’s possible.

Can couples therapy save a marriage?

Couples therapy can be incredibly effective, but no ethical therapist can promise to save a marriage. What therapy can do is create the best possible environment for honest conversations, meaningful change, and informed decision-making.

Many couples arrive feeling discouraged, disconnected, or uncertain whether their relationship can recover. Through therapy, they often develop a deeper understanding of one another, learn healthier communication skills, rebuild trust, and create new ways of navigating conflict. For many, these changes lead to a stronger and more connected relationship.

In some situations, therapy also helps couples recognize that continuing the relationship may not be the healthiest path. Even then, therapy can provide clarity, reduce unnecessary conflict, and help people move forward with greater respect and understanding.

Rather than focusing solely on saving a marriage, my goal is to help you create the healthiest relationship possible. Sometimes that means repairing and strengthening the relationship. Sometimes it means gaining clarity about the future. Either way, therapy helps you make thoughtful decisions rather than reactive ones.

When should couples seek therapy?

The best time to begin couples therapy is usually much earlier than most people think.

Many couples wait years before reaching out for help, hoping the problems will resolve on their own. Unfortunately, unresolved conflict often leads to growing resentment, emotional distance, and communication patterns that become increasingly difficult to change over time.

You don’t have to wait until you’re considering separation or divorce. Therapy can be beneficial whenever you notice recurring arguments, difficulty communicating, a decline in emotional or physical intimacy, major life transitions, parenting stress, financial conflict, or challenges rebuilding trust after a betrayal.

Couples also seek therapy proactively. Some come before getting engaged or married to strengthen communication and better understand one another’s expectations, values, and conflict styles. Others come during periods of significant change, such as becoming parents, blending families, changing careers, or retiring.

Seeking therapy isn’t a sign that your relationship has failed. It’s often a sign that you’re committed to learning the skills needed to help your relationship thrive.

How long does couples therapy take?

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer because every couple’s relationship, goals, and challenges are different.

Some couples come to therapy to address a specific issue and achieve their goals in a relatively short period of time. Others are working through more complex concerns, such as long-standing communication difficulties, repeated betrayals, significant life transitions, or years of accumulated resentment, which naturally require more time.

The pace of therapy also depends on how consistently couples attend sessions and how willing they are to practice new skills between appointments. Lasting change happens not only during therapy sessions but also through the conversations, habits, and interactions that occur in everyday life.

My goal isn’t to keep couples in therapy indefinitely. It’s to help you develop the insight, communication skills, and relationship tools needed to navigate challenges independently. As couples become more confident applying those skills, sessions often become less frequent until therapy is no longer needed. Ultimately, success isn’t measured by the number of sessions you attend—it’s measured by the strength and health of the relationship you build.